This is me with the words on the tip of my tongue

Let's go racing!!!!

2006-11-20T04:05:15Z

What an exciting day! The Bears won and to top it off Jimmie finally won the Nextel Cup!! :)

The o.c.

2006-10-31T05:44:32Z

I can't help it...The OC makes me cry my eyes out all the time

I hate ethics

2006-10-26T21:41:58Z

I hate writing papers...especially when the paper is on ethics. I had the worst experience when I took an ethics course at IV and it just brings back to many bad memories.

I really need to think of something to be for Halloween. Something cheap and easy. Hmm... sounds like I should just go as a whore then.

I think I need to go get more coffee. As if my obsession for coffee wasn't bad enough before, Chicago sure is not helping it. I think I want it even more every Thursday after I work on my Starbucks project in class. Plus I'm tired and I can't seem to focus on this damn paper.

I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me

2006-10-17T00:28:20Z

So I guess I will update a little while I'm waiting for the Bears to come on and for my roomate to clear her disaster out of the kitchen so I can make dinner.

I got an A on my interview paper I did with Christine O'Reilly of the Chicago White Sox. I'm happy :) I also did good on my midterm today for my Marketing Strategies class. Sooo so far today the day I have been dreading has turned out pretty good.

Oh by the way Beck was this past weekend which turned out to be pretty fun, except for all these people who thought they would move their way up to the front to stand RIGHT in front of me. I was pissed. I was sooo close to punching these two lesbianish drunk girl who head butted me. grrr.

korky18 @ 2006-10-12T20:13:00

2006-10-13T01:31:10Z

Today Bush came to Chicago. It was nuts. He came to the Hilton which is the building right by ours. There were tons of tv vans, police, a helicoptor, and roads blocked off. They wouldn't even let people walk or drive down the street when he went in. Also Opra and Bono were at GAP and the Apple Store doing a shopping charrity for kids with aids in Africa. I enjoy hearing about celebrities that are here because it gives me hope of seeing one someday...even ones that I hate like our wonderful President ew.

A girl in my class also announced that on Saturday on Michegan Ave. the House of Blues will be giving away $10 gift certificates that can be used for anything there. That made me super happy so now all I need to do is find a good concert to go to.

korky18 @ 2006-10-11T22:15:00

2006-10-11T23:50:41Z

First journal entry in over a year = craziness

It's not like much has happened since last year...or maybe there has been. I'm away from the boring life of the Illinois Valley yah! I love living in Chicago there is so much to do and I feel like I never have time to do anything anymore. There is always so much stuff I have to do each day that before I know it the day is gone. I think so far the city has really opened my mind up to certain things. The people here even at Columbia are so different than I expected. Sure I've been to Chicago many many times but living here is a whole other experience. Being here makes me realize how sheltered I've been all my life. I'm loving school at Columbia. I feel more at ease now that I kind of know what I want to do with my life, but more scared because I feel like everyone is a step ahead of me. I have to admit though school has me freaked out about my future. My Marketing Strategies class always keeps me thinking about it. I'm scared to death about getting a job after school. I can't wait, but I'm nervous as hell now. What if nothing goes as planned and I can't get a job and I'm stuck doing something that I hate? Eh...

Today I exchanged numbers with a girl in my class so we can study for our Midterm. One of the girls who is also in my class was in the elevator. She was saying how she had the same area code and that she's from Spring Valley Weird huh? The weirdest part is her roomate is someone who I went to school with since jr. high. I always find moments like that very interesting.

This weekend I'm going to see Beck...that is if my ticket ever comes. I'm excited to go I always like to go to different concerts and plus it will be nice to go out and do something fun.

korky18 @ 2005-07-06T15:42:00

2005-07-06T20:53:30Z

I dont know why but for the past maybe two weeks I feel like I've been doing nothing but letting people down/upset/mad...or it could be me and that Im just upsetting myself. Whatever it is I just hope it goes away fast.

There are some things about myself I just cant help. Im sorry. I'll try to fix it. I'm always tired and I just cant seem to stay awake very late at all anymore. Maybe its work and it just kills me and having two jobs just throw me off. I just feel like I never get any sleep and that everyday is the same. I guess it seems like no matter what I do I'll never feel better.

I guess lately I've also been feeling too locked down...like I never go out or do anything like I usually do every summer. It was nice to hang out with friends that I havent been with for a while this past weekend tho :)

korky18 @ 2005-05-27T18:47:00

2005-05-28T01:11:18Z

Sooo I decided to update since I havent in almost a month..ya im just that lazy. So since that last time I guess ALOT has happened like school being over, I started work for the city, and went to Pennsylvania finally to see my sister and the baby. It was also really nice to see my grandparents and aunt that I havent seen since 8th grade.

Working for the city has been a blast...I think the only thing that probably makes it that way is being able to work with Jenna. The amount of fun we have while working together is just crazy...and thats why I love her and soo glad she's my greatest friend.

So lately I've just been feeling kind of blah...Ive just been so tired...and just have soooo much on my mind. Nothing ever seems to stop me from thinking things sometime no matter how many times people tell me everything is ok.

I need to get away again...somewhere nice and hot with an ocean. Damn you Jenna for going to Florida and leaving me. jj

This is a Lesson In Procrastination

2005-05-02T18:29:50Z

C-...pretty good for a paper that I never read the book for and that was two days late...I keep impressing my self more and more these days...not really

This weekend was well? uneventful

Friday I worked and welllll that was about it...tho my brother came home for the weekend so that was nice cuz i always miss having him around

Saturday I was suppose to go to Jeremy's party w/Megan but then we convinced Steff to come and we drove around for what seems as days and we never found the party...who would have known the town of Seneca is sooo nice (or maybe more like country of Seneca) Even tho we didnt find the party it was nice just to drive around w/Steff and catch up on things since we never really get to hang out anymore except occasionally at Subway. So after we found our way home I went over to Jenna's where steph, sean, n bo were waiting to watch uhh that one movie lymminity schnickets..ok i have no idea what its called...anyhow then on Sunday i woke up to go for breakfast w/Sean which of course was great...so that about wraps the incredibly boring weekend up

Only 17 days till i get to go to Pennsylvania....ooooh im sooo excited its the only thing ive been looking forward to

And Jenna told me that we will begin working for the city on the 16th and that our truck is ready! our OWN truck..how badass will we look when u see us rollin down the street in that!?

Nowadays Hopelessness and I Make a Great Team

2005-04-26T16:26:55Z

Fuck School. I HATE life.
The End.

Can't you see it's not me you're dying for

2005-04-20T05:09:11Z

I need a new hobby...im just sick of the same stuff...school and work...it only leads to depression which I have been feeling alot lately...so I think something different new and fun would work wonders even tho i dont have time for anything

Latley Ive been listening to lots of acoustic...and the more i listen the more I want my acoustic guitar. Man what I would do to be able to have one and actually be able to play. I would totally looooove it, which is why im for sure going to ask for one or purchase one sometime hopefully this summer. And then when I become totally awesum you will all be jealous.

School is getting the best of me yet so Im thinking that I need a good drunken night this weekend...So if anyone...anyone at all is going to a party...knows a party...of just wants to party call me up...cuz that would be oo so swell.

Tonight=possibly the saddest night of work ever. Valerie Newell (Yes. Big Sex talking look-alike batman penguin Val) told me that she is leaving Subway. Oh how much Ill miss those late nights when we were soooo slow and how I sat there and listened to her talk about her and her husband's sex stories...and waiting for her to wash dishes for hours as I patiently waited to go. She will be missed...or not.

korky18 @ 2005-04-17T23:40:00

2005-04-18T04:54:38Z

50 pages out of 300 read
1 1/2 pages out of 10 written
Chances of getting history done...
Slim to none

Sean has a livejournal now...and he thinks he is cool now (because he so is) so everyone must check it out :)

So I hate the feeling of being ditched for basically no good reason especially when its one of your good friends who you havent hung out with in a long time...But I love ya Megan and thanx sooooo much cuz u didnt have to do that, but it meant alot...whenever you have a bad night tho again im always here to listen!

Come what may

2005-04-13T03:13:15Z

I hate those days where all the stress just keeps building and building up and then finally BOOM you crash...and that was exactly what happened today.

I think Subway hates me now...or I receieved the special unasked for employee vacation cuz I never work now! Its nice tho Im not complaining...at least not until I get my paycheck.

Jenna...thank you sooo much for today! It really brought up my day and I couldnt ask for a better friend!! Im always here for you as well whenever you need me you know that! I love ya!

Nothing Compares to You

2005-04-11T03:24:17Z

I think I have a disease and if I dont then I should....ive been dead tired maybe cuz my big lack of sleep and then really strangly sick and now my eyes are all puffy and red. It does me me feel wonderful even when my aunt tells me I look like shit. But whatever.

This weekend was nice. Friday everyone came over and I owned everyone in my hottub. Thats right I said owned or maybe it should have been pwn3d. Whatever sean n joe are really rubbing off on me.

Last night I went to see Evita which by the way they did a great job at. Though I basically didnt understand anything at all. But I was extrememly tired and sick through it so maybe that had a slight effect. So after I went to the cast party which was nice to see everyone. But it made me feel like I was in highschool again which actually really wasnt very cool though I do miss it with the play and certain things but overall im happy im out.

Today I did my #1 most favorite activity....shopping....with to add one of my most #1 best friends Jenna...even tho I maybe wasnt one of the best shopping partners today.

Tomorrow Im off again. That is total greatness. Ive only worked one day in the past like 6 days. Though my check will suck horribly...but sometimes u just need a rest...and this is just one of those times.

I'm melting...

2005-04-06T20:59:23Z

So I decided last night that I need to get my life on track. Ive never felt so lost and felt like I never have enough time for anything anymore. I think Ive been worrying so much over things that Ive made myself sick over it. My throat wont stop hurting and now it turned into a cold and now my ear is even hurting. What the hell is wrong with me?!

So I was also just informed last night that I must host movie night in my hot tub on Friday. This really makes me feel so honored. Since movie nights always = best nights ever. Especially when they are spent with cool movie ppl like sean joe n jenna :)

So besides the lovely movie night Saturday I will hopefully be going to see Evita. Damn it if I dont get off Ill be pissed...even tho i never took off cuz i totally forgot to. But I must go and be sad for I miss being in the plays sooo much. And besides Ill get to go to the cast party and enjoy all the free food with my dates for the night Julie n Steph.

I kno I had more to say especially since I havent updated in like a week...but suddenly Im feeling too lazy to say anything else. But until next time....

Your bad luck follows you like a heart attack

2005-03-31T19:14:07Z

Man my second day of skipping in a row...I really need to get going with school and stop this cuz its taking me no where

Last night was the One Tree Hill concert which was...interesting

It was steph, steff, and emily and me waiting there at the house of blues for basically two hours standing outside in the pooring rain and hail. OH it was such a marvelous time might I say. So then by the time they start letting us in after they were already 45 min late on that...we get in and on one side of us are the most annoying like jr high girls who were screaming as loud as possible shouting "i love you" over and over. It just made me relive all those Nsync memories and made me want to kill every last one of them. Sooo then on the other side were the other annoying ppl who decided to yell random shit like "Are You Pregnant?" to Michelle Branch which by the way she is. So all in all the concert was good cuz it was basically all acoustic which I absolutly love...but then when you are standing there extremely tired..hungry..around ppl you want kill...while you are wet, hot, and muggy..then it really would take the fun out of any situation.

The Florida trip is on and I am now pumped...even though it might be just me sean and joe. But at least they both are entertaining ppl and I know we will have a blast. But then I cant get too excited cuz getting excited about things just have been taken me no where lately.

Yesterday my sister Jolie had her baby at 1:17 P.M. 6 pounds 12 and a half ounces and 19 inches...his name is Amaree :)

korky18 @ 2005-03-30T14:25:00

2005-03-30T20:31:08Z

Why does it seem like I have been having the worst luck in the world lately? Maybe cuz thats just the way things go for me. Anyways tonight is the One Tree Hill concert...I dunno how its gonna be since Gavin Degraw is not going to be there as I just find that out the day of the concert and him basically being the only reason Im going. I just really hafta learn how not to get excited for things.

Last night sean joe and I went over Dave's so he could show us the video of sean singing. It was the funniest thing I tell ya. And I believe I will tell everyone and then bring everyone to Dave's so I can show everyone.

There are tornado watches tonight, which excites me though the concert is tonight so that kinda sux...but yet i think its kind of exciting if we got stranded there. I just love storms...nothing relaxes me more than a night of sleep through a bad storm.

korky18 @ 2005-03-27T14:37:00

2005-03-27T20:53:03Z

I wish the weekend would never end...its just been that good or at least I thought it was...tho some people might beg to differ

Thursday me sean jenna steph n sheila went to the Rambler only to get the cars stuck in the mud. So then we ended up staying at the Day's Inn till they could finally get the cars out in the morning...At least I look back at the night and laugh about it

Friday and Saturday I didnt do too much of anything except hang out with the greatest person ever! And yes Sean did finally pop the question and we are now officially a couple.

Today is Easter which doesnt even seem anything like Easter. But I guess any holiday just doesnt seem the same anymore now that Im grown up. It really makes me sad too...I dunno why.

Im way to excited for Summer already...possibly cuz I have a million things in mind to do already. And I should know better not to get too excited about things because 1st, I never end up doing half the things I plan on and 2nd, everything I get excited about ends up sucking. But...it would be nice if I do get to go to Florida and it is a great time. And then this year for Brickyard we are going camping instead which will make it a way better time than it even was before, plus now we are planning to go to Atlanta in the Fall for another race which now as me even more excited today. But as for now Im just excited for Wednesday and the wonderful One Tree Hill Concert I will be attending...even though most of you 1, have know idea what the hell One Tree Hill is or 2, dont give two shits Im going

Well I guess this is my clue to end this journal as Im finding myself talking about stuff that I dont think anyone really cares about...but then I guess it really doesnt matter since its my journal and besides that I dont think anyone actually reads my journal..but o well Ill live

<3

It's moments like this that repeat and replay in my head

2005-03-21T05:41:04Z

Good good weekend

Friday me n megan went to see Beauty and the Beast at St. Bede...it turned out to be allright.

I love the feeling of everyone being home and seeing people I havent seen in a long time. It just makes me sooo happy.

Saturday night was brans party. That was lots of fun...drinking and playing hackey sack which I totally suck at. What could be more fun? So after that me Sean Jenna and Rex left and just came back here to sleep...then today we all went to see the ring 2, which freaked me about but not nearly as bad as the first one.

Im so excited to have these days off of work...today was just soooo nice and relaxing. I really need more days like that. Where I can just go and do a whole bunch of nice relaxing fun stuff...which is maybe why this weekend just put me in the best mood ever.

Loves an excuse to get hurt

2005-03-17T06:26:15Z

I hurt...bad
Just the bruise on my leg and then my sore back. I feel like I got ran over by a truck

who would have thought bike tricks that you cant even do could do that to ya

Tiki has become my new favorite place w/ Jenna Sean n Joe
We are like the tiki club

...I kill myself because I'm so frustrated...

2005-03-14T20:43:52Z

So my sister might have the baby within the next two weeks the doctor said...I cant wait

My mom is going out to visit in May and I wanna go so bad so I might if Im done with school by the time she goes. I just really miss her and I never get to see her so I hopefully Ill get to go cuz that would just make me the happiest.

Today was back to school...I dont kno whats wrong with me we come back after spring break and yet I skip my first two classes. I really need to get on a roll and actually start caring about things cuz I just dont, but maybe its cuz I hate everything about IV and nothing about anything there interests me.

My dad left this morning till thursday...those are always the best days ever when he's gone.

And when i see you I really see you upside down...

2005-03-11T20:25:12Z

What fun Ive actually been having on this spring break

I got back from Minni the other day...it was such a great time
but then what time isnt fun when it comes to shopping

I got to hang out with my cousin while I was there too so that was nice...him and his wife Tonya took me and Steph to this reeaaally good Mongolian restraunt and then we went to different places to drink. We also held this one guys snakes which was a bit scarey and then we had our first Casino experience which was nice also.

Last night was back to work tho it actually wasnt that bad...then me n Megan went to Four Star and waited for everyone to show up and then we went to brown bag with Sean. I dunno about them but I always feel totally uncomfortable when I go there even tho it was only my 2nd time.

So tonight is Robots with Jenna and her lil cousins...how exciting!!!

Because maybe...

2005-03-07T01:12:56Z

Well spring break=so far so good

Actually it hasnt been quite as boring as I thought so far.

last night I went to Peoria w/Jenna to party it up in a hotel w/Sean, Joe, and Brandon. It turned out to be a prettttty good time.

Anyways tomorrow I leave for Mall of America...which is basically the one thing that has me pumped about the whole Spring Break. Since my absolute favorite stress reliever is shopping plus I'll hopefully get to see my cousin while Im there.

<33

Hold on Tightly, Let Go Lightly

2005-02-27T07:15:13Z

So I owe my great friend Megan Euler a huuuuuge thanks for tonight

I just HATE the feeling of feeling like im trapped...and now im kinda scared and dont know what to do

Im also sick of where life has been going lately and im just ready for a change

For the good news...I watched SAW this weekend and I enjoyed it. I liked the ending, but yet I hated it at the same time. I just dont like not knowing how everything happened in the end.

Wellll thats all i guess

I wish I could close my eyes and somehow make it all alright

2005-02-23T05:47:25Z

So lately I haven't been to excited about anything. I just keep on getting less and less motivated about everything. I just hope that sooner or later I'll actually start caring about things alittle more and try harder at basically just life.

Well Sunday was Steph's birthday, which was fun! We all went to Joe's Crab shack and had just a goooood time. It was just nice to get out of the IV for a even a night.

Monday Steph had a purse party...I really enjoyed that maybe just because I enjoy purses? then me her n Julie went to LP to watch the musical rehearsal. It was nice to see alot of the ppl there...tho I still wish just sometimes I could go back and do it again...but for the most part Im happy Im gone.

Tonight at work a homeless guy came in...it was kind of sad...since the only thing he could afford was soup...and we were out of soup....but it just made me sad